Forever Young

Looked at that pretty face. It has been almost 4 years. She looks so young, just the same as how she is in my memories.

Even after so many years, I still can’t bear to stay there long. Everytime I stand in front of the niche, my mind went blank. I miss her laughter, miss her little actions.

It was never so quiet with her around. I really hate that unsettling quiet when I visited her.

I hope she is as joyful and happy in the other world. Love you.

I should just drive

For the past week, wanted to try driving. But, everytime i really scared that I will just knock someone and leaving their friends and relative upset.

It has been a long time since i enjoyed driving. I used to love driving so much. Love the feeling to be in control of the wheel. Performed pretty well in the first driving test after just 1.5 months of driving lessons and 3 lessons in the circuit. Subsequently, I have the phobia and it became disastrous. i went too cautious, frightened, out of control.

It is just so easy for the driver to drive and yet when accidents happened, the ones on the bike will eventually suffer. Be it fracture, paralyzed or even death. Some might be thinking, what is the chances of getting into accidents or getting someone killed. The chances is not high, but not as low as everyone is thinking. I really dun wan to cause any death, because it brings sadness to his/her friends and family forever.

Foolish. Some might say.

Stupid. Some might say.

Think too much. I know. But i just can’t help. I really need to find a way to love driving all over again.

Love. it’s just so hard to happen when you are heartbroken.

almost the bottom

life hasn’t been good. Too much worries, too much uncertainties, too much changes.

I don’t want to think, i don’t want to do, i don’t want to talk.

New Year Resolution

Let the past be past.

I really like to start driving again. I shall start today.

Now, what?

Now that I know what I have been waiting for. What is the next step?

Confused. Heartache.

I used to smile.

I looked through my old pictures and i suddenly realized the things i have lost as i grow up.

When I was young, teacher would ask me what is my ambition. The answer is pure and simple, sincerely out of my heart. My ambition is something which I would love doing, teacher said. So, I said Air Stewardess or Hotel representatives. Then teacher followed by asking why. Because I love to see people smile, I like to feel appreciated when I did something special that makes them smile. The teacher said “Good and Keep this in mind.”

However, my teacher didn’t tell me about salary and the economic factors that would affect my decision when I grow up. Now, here I am, pondering what is my passion. Perhaps, I should go back to see things with a simple heart, What is it that you like to do?

 

 

Just leave me alone.

I don’t want to smile,
I don’t wish to talk.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

Shanghai!!

Finally, I am going onto a plane and FLY! I am so going to shanghai!!!!

Time to book the hotel!!

Love my iphone

My iPhone is just like my laptop. Love it sooo much! With this little gadget in my hands, I can do almost everything I do with my laptop.

It is always my excuse for not getting to the lonely laptop on my study table. I love my bed so much that I wish I can eat, sleep, watch tv and do almost everything (except shitting) while resting on my bed. My dad says I am like paralyzed child. My mum says I am lazy. My brother can’t say much abt me because he is very much the same as me.

It’s Saturday! My sleeping day. Time to sleep!!!

I should have listened to my mum.

“You should just learn to stop saying whatever that comes to your mind”

“You should think about how people will interpret what you say. You might not mean it that way, but people will see it that way”

My mum always scolded me for being insensitive, but I chose to ignore. It seems to me that I should have listened to her. Rather than learning it through the hard way, paying such a high price for a lesson which I should have learnt when my mum told me so.