New Year Eve

Last nite.. i was so tired that i juz fell asleep… dunno what time Adrian reach home… it was raining heavily now… dunno where we are goin now… Dunno where is Adrian now… Staying at home.. listening to nags..

Dunno how is the project goin.. msg jess but she din reply.. maybe she is sleeping bah in the cool rainy day. this sem is too heavy.. so many little assignments.. so many research.. hmm.. and one focus grp project… time pass real fast.. so many things on hand. juz… do my best bah… haiz…

Oh ya.. some sae that the tag board cannot be tag.. if this is the case.. u click on the comment below each entry and then.. u can leave ur comment…

Drowned

xX Drowned Xx

Drowned in the piles or projects… lost in the sea of information.. trying to find my way out.. yet it seems that.. i can’t see the shore.. tons and tons of research.. yet i juz can’t get those i wanted… haiz… tryin to squeeze some idea out of my stupid brain…

New Year is coming… yet projects dateline are coming… on the 6th jan.. i will be having robotics and cmp quiz… as well as my advance theory test… Woah! so much things to do on juz one dae… Flash… something horrible… too complex..

Met nicholas yesterdae as he has sth to pass to me.. christmas present.. he bought me a bangle.. perlini silver as well.. hmm… he slimmed down.. the bangle is nice but doesn’t suit me… or rather i am not used to seeing myself wearing a bangle…

New year eve… hope to see fireworks.. wanting to be under the fireworks sparks.. so sweet.. yet i dun like crowdy places… haha.. i gguess.. not in this lifetime.. the fireworks wun be for me alone.. haha.. too ex… My dream is too ex to realise.. so juz let it be a dream…

HATE U… Stay Away From Me.. Far Far Away..

I hate u… i am disappointed realli disappointed.. He is now soundly asleep.. leaving me in his room… staring at the com and the tv… tried to wake him up yet he told me that he is tired… i noe he is.. so am i… so why shld i stayhere and juz staring at all these things… let anger overwhelmed me.. let my tears flow down my face… it is christmas… People always says Merry christmas.. but mine… I guess a sad christmas… with a bf and without it dun seems to make a diff… i shld have meet my friends.. countdown with him.. rather than staying here… tearing.. watchin him sleep…

I dun expect anything… but this is beyond my tolerance level… it is too much.. i’m not happy… certainly not… why can’t be other guys.. show more concern.. at the very least let me feel important… i realli regreted.. i shld have bought the tickets… join them… let mi have a fun christmas.. leaving him alone… to let him feel.. what i mean by lonely.. how i feel… coz he has never put himself in my shoes… he will never understand why i am sad and angry.. he never will.. To him.. i’m just a wilful and unreasonable kid… So let me be one.. and leave mi alone!!! Stay Away from me.. far far away… i will learn to find my own smile….

Class

ShiTy ClasS!!!!

Now in my IS class.. listening to things which i dun even understand… Ailen language.. the professor is toking.. i guess he realli had so Permanent Head Damage.. Robotics.. rotation programming… i knoe nuts abt… nuthing at all except for some knowledge abt physics… I guess i juz hope for a B.. coz i am not listening at all… Flash… even worse.. it is fun but complicated… tried so many times and finally let me get something right…

Later… i will be having tuition and pass keith his christmas present cum reward for getting good result… a badminton racket… a hole in my pocket… haiz… after which… i will meet Adrian.. He need to make a trip to sentosa.. to do some work.. He asked if i wanted to watch a movie and eat the international buffet… no mood… realli no mood… he wun understand what i realli want… bring me to sentosa juz becoz of work…

Christmas eve… his sis called him to ask if i am free… wanted me to go over for christmas dinner… dunno where is it, nor who is attending… another christmas eve gone… anyway… all these years… we din celebrate.. so i’m used to it…

New year eve: Jiayi they all are goin for the countdown… i dunno if i’m goin… coz i noe.. he wun want to attend it with mi… haiz… i dunno if i am goin… if i shld go…. For now.. i juz hope that he can juz release us… coz i’m hungry!!!!!

< gone >

I wrote an entry the other dae and it is gone… i dunno why… perhaps it juz dun meant to be published… christmas is drawing near and as usual… i dun have any festive mood… perhaps sch is too busy… but i noe this is juz an excuse… as i grow.. i start to feel that all festivals are juz another day on the calender… another 24 hours.. the Earth making another revolution…

This year i guess things will still be the same… the onli diff was that i received my first christmas present as a tutor… as a teacher… The way he handed the present to me.. the way he constantly reminded me not to open up the present until the clock strikes 12.. christmas is over… he is cute.. i dun mind facing him for 2 hours… listening to his complains… “bargains” for less work and more games..

Sales are everywhere… no matter where i go the words sales jumped up on me… i try to avoid.. but i juz love to shop… i love to buy clothes.. i juz wan to pamper myself.. telling myself… it’s christmas… i shld buy myself a present… no money… haha… save it bahz…

Hmm… Adrian… he has been busy.. alwayz busy… no matter in camp or when he had booked out… he has endless of things and activities.. but i guess there will be none for christmas and new year eve… this means a boring christmas for me…

Haiz.. projects are coming up.. datelines are approaching.. days are numbered… i’m tired… Juz let me rest..

< Boring Sunday >

.: Rainy Saturdae.. But.. Sunny Sundae :.

Went Sentosa with xiang.. hanwei and yuling.. i reached harbourfront at 925 and the other 3… one was 15 mins late.. the other 2.. more than half an hour… i was waiting impatiently for them… i hate to wait for ppl… i have no patience…

Reached Sentosa not long before it started raining.. not drizzling.. but raining heavily.. It’s not our day.. but soon.. the rain stop and thou there is no sun.. we still went ahead with our game of volleyball… my hand were bruised… coz.. i never noe how to play balls.. I guess the sun was out for one hour or so and we played some game and then we went for shower. Just then.. it started pouring again.. this time realli heavily…

Before goin back.. we went pastamania for our lunch cum dinner… then next will be ice cream and went shopping ard.. Window shopping.. =) Actually wanted to meet Adrian… but. he is busy with his billard and i went straight to my auntie house… and my cousin asked mi if i wanted to go tampiness mall to shop.. why not… since he is not free and i am too free… When i was shopping.. he told me he reached home… dUhz… i regreted.. goin with her… anyway.. bought a gift for gift exchange…

Todae! A boring.. stupid dae.. woke up at 11.. called him but no answer.. must be sleeping.. so i proceed to complete my 2 tutorial… completed and he was still asleep… waited and waited… realli too free… then finally met him at 2pm and went over to beach road… met weiliang and lionel.. my ex colleague there.. somewhow i expected that i will meet someone… anyway… nuthing great.. nuthing fun… boring sundae… and tomolo will be mondae… and next week will be Christmas… i realli hope that i can have a beautiful and enjoyable christmas this year..

Alone

I’m alone… alone facing the laptop… suddenly… the surrounding is so quiet and peaceful… juz played gunbound… haiz… so tired yet juz can’t get to sleep… Tomolo goin for sun tanning… hope it will be a sunny dae..

Oh ya.. hanwei got this license… so happy for him.. at least he dun need to waste any more money on this and that.. tomolo afternoon maybe goin to shop for Adrian’s sis wedding gift… i realli need to save this time… =)

Had a boring tutorial… i know nuts abt the tutorial.. i din prepare my work.. i din even look at those websites… none of my group mate had done… fantastic… haha… so i juz wasted 2 hours of my time in that smelly room.. then sit in the lecture hall… had to face the lecturer who keep telling us stories… for goodness sake.. can she juz move on and not staying at the same point even after 20 mins… she and her story… juz let mi go…

Went to Jurong Point… met up with Adrian… had our dinner… went ard… bought some first aid stuff for my dad as he injured his leg.. i dunno how he managed to get such a long and deep cut… haiz… lost of words… tomolo… need to wake up at 7… i am still here… i think this time … i realli cham liaoz… =)

Guess realli have to try to sleep liao lahz… =)

< 16/12/04 >

Woke up at 6.. almost fell asleep during classes… robotics… a boring tut which we had to play with lego… then put those gears and stuff like thatz… then have to calculate all those… realli very engineering… haiz.. then took a long time trying to fix the model… in the end we still can’t finish in time…

Went home… put down my stuff then went for tuition.. walked past city chain… saw a watch quite nice… then have a look… then roamed ard.. no more money to shop… i can’t afford to buy anything now… be thrifty!!! Waiting for my tuition pay… realli need it coz i need to buy those textbook.. many of them… over 100 bucks… Broke…

I shld cut down those money i spent on food coz i am getting fat.. in thise way i can save money and at the same time i can slim down. NAPFA… i guess i will fail terribly bahz… i hate it… i realli dun wan to participate.. but i guess i have to.. train on sundae bah… go run abit… if not i sure die until very ugly on tues…

Sickening… tired…

< Tired >

xX Monday Blue Xx

Mondae again… another week gone… soon there will be projects dateline for mi to meet.. work for mi to rush… So tired that i even fell asleep on the bus.. After sch.. went home and ate lots of junk food such as ice cream, potato chips, kuehz, and bak kua… haha… then my cousin asked mi if i would like to tag along for a christmas shopping… she need to shop for gifts.. went… and she bought lots of stuff… realli alot… till the car boot was filled… i bought nuthing… wanted too many things.. yet too broke to buy… haven got my textbk yet… realli have to get them asap.. but i guess i can onli buy after i get my pay…

Tuesdae… and soon christmas… no plans.. nowhere to go… dull christmas… boring me…

14.12.04

Todae… a boring day.. very tiring and boring day… started off at 9 am… settled myself in a lecture hall… My fav tutor cum lecturer.. the time when she start her lec till the end of her lec… my hand had never stopped… Notez are filled with my handwriting.. colorful & messy… i am tired.. my shoulder ache like crazy…

Had a break… then next is another lecture… this time… she sound alien.. talking alien language for 2 hours… i dun understand what she is talking… i dun even noe which point is she addressing to… i juz hope that the class can juz end immediately then…

Next another tutorial… a weird tutor who written weird tutorial questions… somehow… she is telling us to identify problems.. juz trying to program our brain.. telling us how to analyse things and get things right… weird… but i juz couldn’t understand what she reali wans… when we approach her, she juz simply refuse to tell us if we are on the right track…

Now… everyone seems to be deciding where to go on christmas eve… i have no idea and i guess it isn’t impt anyway… coz.. i understand him… i noe him well… so i juz dun expect anything.. thats the only way to prevent myself from getting disappointment…

I am getting fat… muz find a way to slim down… no more supper… no more fried stuff…