< It’s my Anniversary >

My Anniversary!!! Hehe.. a wonderful anniversary… i love it.. He came to pick me up at ard 7.30 and then went to esplanade.. got into a japanese restaurant then ordered something.. the soft shell crab handroll is nice.. very very nice.. hehee.. can go and eat lahz.. hehe..

Walked to esplanade.. sat down.. chat about somethings and then let the cool breeze blow onto my face.. this the life i wanted.. hehe.. it is juz romantic.. Then after that.. went to eat the chocolate hehee.. nice nice..

Anyway.. got to sit in the new car of his.. erm.. i still prefer the old car… more comfortable.. hehee.. nuthing i can sae… coz i can’t afford the car anyway… yeah.. todae is a wonderful dae.. with my confirmation in SMU and the wonderful dae.. heheee…

Tomolo is another off dae… then after tomolo.. i will wait till 15th of next month before i got my next off dae.. hmm prada launch.. hehe.. then… i guess i will be eating shit le bahz!!!!!

< dreams came true >

.. i got the letter …
I opened up my letter box.. saw the SMU letter… i can’t wait to open up the letter… the letter wrote.. Congratulations! we are delighted to offer you admission to SMU’s Bachelor of Business Management programme… those words jumped up at me..

i was smiling away in the lift.. i guess the person beside me must think i’m nuts.. but who cares!!! i’m happy.. very very happy!!! then.. got out of the lift.. called him immediately.. he din ans the call.. and i couldn’t send sms out to him.. forget it.. i called jiayi!!! haha!!! i was so so so so happy… hehe… if hanwei is in singapore.. i will call him the next haha.. anyway goin to call huiling later.. coz my handphone got prob!!!! haha..

Actually wanted to go to sch to hand in the bursary thingy.. got onto the bus and realise that i forgot abt my results… came back and check to see if i brought all the things.. and i need to bring my real copies down.. and later i might be goin out with him.. so i think i tomolo then go ba… haiz..

Actually wanted to celebrate our anniversary todae.. an early celebreation of 8th month anniversary.. but.. quarrelled with him yesterdae… over the same kind of things.. he juz couldn’t be bothered i guess.. watever it is.. he wun be able to make it home early… so what does that mean?? i planned my dae.. wanted to go back to sch.. then meet him at his house bus stop.. but now.. none of it actually go according as planned… juz let it be… i juz wanted to stay at home now.. so juz leave me alone… let me hug that letter to sleep…

is this the life i wanted?

got back from work.. finally got 2 daes off.. but… i’m goin to eat grass next month… commission is like shit… haiz… was quite weak todae… keep having giddyness… and i bought my puma t-shirt todae.. XS haha… finally i fit into the category of XS.. Weiling they all said that i lose quite some weight.. but i dun feel so lehz… maybe too stress le bahz…

back at home.. dun feel like talking to anyone.. yesh.. i got atitude problem.. went to the friendster.. his status is still single.. what can i sae.. i told him how i feel.. i told him so many times.. if u have no intention to change.. then dun ask mi.. wats the point of telling the reason and yet u din take any action? it is more disappointing than not letting u noe at all..

I’m asking myself.. is this the life i really wanted.. Am i really wanted him to be my future husband? i really dunno… i feel really upset and angry.. can u be more sensitive towards my feeling?? If i really dun wish for this kind of life, why should i continue?

< busy >

i’m very tired.. so let mi juz brief u thru what i’ve done todae…

Todae.. cut my hand.. without realising it till my colleague pointed it out to me.. hahaa.. she tot why i paint my nails like that .. no.. is my blood.. haha.. anyway.. it’s alrite le…

Sales had been bad.. so is my mood.. trying to tune my mood back… but i guess.. i can’t.. Went out with adrian after work.. for a movie.. Creeps.. it should be named Crap instead.. it is GROSS.. but adrian was luffing as he was watching.. he said it was lame.. diaoz..

Anyway.. before movie.. went for crystal jade.. i was damn full!!!!! but i dun wan to tell him i’m full coz he said that i will sure complain and choose not to have my nachos in the end… erm.. he was right.. haha.. anyway.. saw a puma t-shirt.. i like it… i wanted to take it.. but dunno size S or XS… can i have sth in between??? haiz.. S is a bit loose.. XS is fitting but a bit tight.. scared i will get fat.. then buy S i scared later wash le will expand.. diaoz… dunno what to do lahz..

LAstly.. i got my timetable for next month.. got off dae on saturdae and sundae.. i dunno i should be happy or sad.. anyway.. i can accompany my dear adrian.. haiz.. really too tired le… 3 daes off next month… waOh.. somemore 3 promotion… i’m dying.. but i hope sales can be alot bettter.. let me have 2000 bucks for salary at least bah… if not i will cry le… haiz…

.

i’m damn bloody tired… actually wanted to wake up to call hanwei.. wishing him all the best for the trip.. yet i overslept and almost late for work.. sickening…

Went to work.. it was tiring and stress.. no sales.. i’m goin to eat grass next month… haiz.. met up with jiayi, weiling, joyce and wanqi to buy sandra’s present… they all said i have slimmed down.. but i really dun feel so.. perhaps is due to the 1 meal one dae bahz.. haha..

After work.. he came.. this time by train.. then walked ard.. saw a Puma t-shirt i like.. but it’s too big.. and it’s 33 bucks.. no money to buy.. so i put it back.. then.. walked ard.. and have my dinner at Mos burger.. ate EBI burger… joyce’s fav.. hehe.. then then.. went into giordano and found a kids polo tee quite nice and he bought it for me..

walked ard.. sae so many things.. too many things i wanted to buy.. haiz.. i need jeans… i wanted the levis one.. i guess i need to wait till my wallet is a bit fatter..

< should i be selfish? >

which way should i choose.. which route should i take.. wat am i goin to do..

All these had been my troubles.. i am feeling rather low these few weeks… no one noes why.. coz i never mentioned it to anyone. i’m preparing for the worse.. if i din get into SMU… which way should i take then?

Should i go to work.. or should i enter a private uni.. for my situation.. i guess.. i should be working.. i shouldn’t be so selfish.. entering into a private uni to get a worthless cert.. i would rather i go out to work to lessen my family burden and to save up for my brother’s education. I noe.. i can’t be so selfish to throw the burden to my dad.. is too much for them to bear…

If i’m so lucky to get into SMU.. i will have to study 4 years.. this make it worse.. coz.. i will be studying till my brother got out of his 2 years NS.. and he will have to study uni… so… how?? my dad.. he need to rest too.. he had been working too hard.. haiz..

I told my mum.. i goin to work.. dun wish to study anymore.. they were like scolding me.. for giving up my studies.. but did they try to understand why? it is my dreams to get to uni.. to graduate.. how much i wanted to.. yet they juz can’t undestand.. U may sae i’m thinking too far.. but.. for my family background.. i have to.. i can’t be so selfish…

Now.. wat should i do? should i choose to turn left or right? Can someone please guide me?? I’m lost.. Too lost to make any decision.. coz i noe.. i will be sad and guility for choosing any of the way.. So.. what should i do??

< All i can do is smile >

should i frown or should i smile…
Was that innocence or insensitivity?
I dunno… i dunno how to differentiate them… he came todae.. fetched me for supper… or rather dinner… actually wanted to eat chocolate.. and we went for simply thai for dinner first… then i felt too full to eat the chocolate.. hence i refused to go in..

Went to walk ard the shops… i dunno… i juz feel of sitting down somewhere.. let me enjoy the light breeze blowing on my face.. let me destress.. let me confide into u… yet.. we juz walked round and round… finally he asked.. shall we go home? tomolo u got to work… fine.. this really let me realise.. how much he understand me.. noe me… i juz smile.. and sae okie.. he sensed sth wrong.. then asked if i wan to find somewhere to sit down.. no more mood.. no longer.. i insisted on goin home…

I wanted to cry so much… but i noe… i can’t.. i shouldn’t.. i didn’t.. i kept quiet.. he sensed sth wrong.. he asked… but i kept it to myself.. why… why he juz dun understand a ger? should i compliment him for his straightforwardness.. should i feel sad for his insensitivity…

No matter wat… now i noe.. be believing in him… i gave myself another potential chance to get disappointment..

< he’s asleep >

yeah he’s asleep… no chocolate no nuthing… goin to have a simple home dinner… hmm… i’m tired as well… very very tired… tomolo got to work again… haiz… have to work another week before i got another off dae… As far as i noe… next month and next few months…. i will be terribly busy.. sorry friends… hmm… i will find time for u all…

Todae went to bugis… meet up with Hanwei… went to shop ard.. and he a nice nice guy.. got conned again.. this time perfume.. i noe he’s feeling down… so never told him off.. anyway i got fault as well.. coz the two guys caught him while he was waiting for me.. paiseh.. if i’m not late then hor… he will be saved….

Next time those salesperson approach u all for those perfume… ask them for all the ingredients.. the top heart and base note… tell them u are sensitive to some ingredients and need to noe… then hor.. see what they sae… Remember…. the two lucky guys… heng their leg can run fast… if not i sure go scold them… wat MK1.. wat launch next month.. launch next month is CK1 summer lahz… orange bottle… so some research before u all come out to con ppl… better dun do too much this kind of bad things.. if not u all walk will trip, climb stairs will roll down, bad luck will follow u.. coz the godS are wathing u closely.. BEWARE!!!!!

< results >

I was sleeping when my handphone go… beep.. results….

I was abit disappointed as i din do as well as before… well… but i guess.. i should be contented.. to have this kind of results… here is the results…

Internation Business: B+
managment Infomation system: B+
Perspective of service industries: A
Service Quality Management: A
Service marketing Managment: A+
Creating Multimedia Presentation: A
Mobile Robotics: C+

all thanz to mobile robotics.. damn bloody module… i hate it man… it make my GPA drop.. i hate it… shit u… shit lego.. shit everything… anyway… with thos kind of results.. dun hope to get into NTU anymore.. dream on… live in my dreams bah….

< Finally i got my off daes!!! >

yeah yeah!!! i got my off dae tml!!!!

Went to counter todae.. early.. haha… coz i went over to taka to exchange my promotor pass. then that 38 huling called and asked where am i.. then i went to the counter.. wrong move!! *%$##%^&* got so many many stock and FOC… that stupid girl.. she worked for so long le.. still dunno… everything also ask me.. diaoz… damn her… in the end i hurt myself again… i shouldn’t have go so early.. should go drink tea with huiling.

Today.. sales is not good.. office ppl came down… asked abt the sales… diaoz… again… haiz… then everytime keep pressurizing us.. hmm.. i dunno.. they all went to ladies nite todae… hehe… dragged me there but i juz refused.. heehee.. hmm. got to meet my dear dear.. went for dinner before i went home…

Goin to get my result tomolo… good luck to me… =) hehee… and good luck to everyone!!!! will be goin out for dinner tomolo…..