I will slap myself

Got back my comms paper.. i was really very sad… very very sad… juz short of the part where i cry…. Was really moody.. but Wah really funnie lahz.. so many jokes hahaa… funnie funnie… Was really quite pissed with myself.. for getting such damn lousy grades.. will my LTB please give me an A?

Financial statement, balance sheet, cash flow… Accrued liabilities… Accounts receviable… they keep appearing in my mind… I’m so sick of them… I want to get good results… I hate myself for not doing well.. for losing the determination i used to have… the motivation which kept me motivated for my poly life… I need them back… back to me…

Just got home not long ago…. goin to meet brenda later to study again… Oh no… my mind is overworked… yet underpaid… I din get enough sleep… and food.. my weight is goin down.. And now… my pants are loose without the belt… This may be a piece of good news to many girls.. but that seems.. sad to me… coz… I’m ill-treating myself.. =_=”"

My dad just asked if i’ve got enough money.. he should noe my temper… even when i’m broke.. i wun take the money from him.. I dunno why… but that’s me.. the stubborn me.. Can he be smarter by depositing the money into my account instead?? I’m really tempted to get the money from him.. All parents should be responsible for child’s living expenses.. But to me, it seems that i just couldn’t bring myself to get anymore money from my parents.. I hasn’t been doin it for years.. and hope that i won’t be doin it in future… Argh… time to bath and get out of my house… I’m still feeling feverish… I hate smokers from now on… coz they cause me to have sore throats, cough and asthma… *bleAh*

Home finally

I’m home finally… after a tiring day with brenda… She was so hardworking todae.. and the 2 of us had this sense of achievement for conquering the part on bonds.. then we went to have our supper… My dear Bren was so cute todae… She tried calling Seng to ask him if he wanted supper.. who noes… she had the wrong number… after telling the person who she is and for at least 2 mins.. she suddenly realised that she was on the phone with another person whom she felt sound like seng.. hahaa… i burst out luffing… So cute bren…

Can’t really blame her lahz.. coz she got the new phone and had lost all her old contacts… But i dun remember giving her the wrong no. when she asked me for people contacts ( including seng). Anyway… my face is feeling hot now.. throat is feeling sore… please.. let me get those sore throat or fever after fridae.. after my exam…

My face that scratch is still there.. a red patch on my left cheek… irritating… can it recover before saturdae.. i wan to look nice on sandra’s wedding.. I wan to look pretty… Shit.. i think this time i’m really getting fever… damn…

Got to go bed.. have to wake up early in the morning to meet bren in sch.. ArGh.. goin to get my grades for comms tomolo.. i’m praying…

"smoke" me

had a nice nice sleep of almost 11 hours… long time since i have a good sleep… quite awake.. so I’m now worrying for tonight… My mum insisted i have my dinner at home.. yet she made me so pissed off… She put lots of garlic in that plate of vegetable.. After i vomitted all the vege in my mouth… i asked her if she put garlic in… she say NO… then what the smelly thingy that make mi puke… spoil my appettite.. spoil my day… irritating woman… trying to “smoke” me… She kept telling me not to tell lies since i’m young.. but what abt her… cheater bug… *puKe*

Got to meet bren to study now… i need to study… I guess i did badly for my communication module… sux… Dissappointed with myself…

Stats paper

Had my stats paper todae… was quite alrite… juz hope to have grades of B+ and above… Today is adrian’s birthdae… His mum called… but.. i’m really too tired and stressed out to have a dinner.. anyway.. i noe it’s my fault… but.. it’s juz that i can’t persuade myself to go back to the old endless waiting life… when i cried almost everyday… Finally.. i’ve learnt to put it down.. to see things in a different manner.. Finally walking down a happy way.. and get to noe.. He is standing somewhere far far away, feeling bad and wanting things to be back to normal…

Insomnia

I’ve been lying on my bed since 7am… My mind hasn’t rest at all… It has been following the clock… ticking and ticking away… I’m really tired… can my mind juz take a rest.. and not working overtime every night… I’m suffering… =(

= Love Me =

I fell in love with this song when i first came across it.. I cried when i heard it for the second time.. I’m touched whenever i think of it… Touching and lovely story which can never happen in my life…

~ Love Me ~
I read a note my grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat
And he showed it once to me
He said, Boy, you might not understand
But a long long time ago
Grandma’s daddy didn’t like me none
But I loved your grandma so
We had this crazy plan to meet
And run away together
Get married in the first town
We came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree
Where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter, and this is what it said . . .

If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then, till I see you again
I’ll be loving you . . . love me

I read those words just hours
Before my grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church
Where me and grandpa stopped to pray
I know I never seen him cry
In all my fifteen years
But as he said those words to her
His eyes filled up with tears

If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me
I’ll meet you when my chores are through
I don’t know how long I’ll be
But I’m not gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
And between now and then, till I see you again
I’ll be loving you . . . love me

Between now and then, till I see you again
I’ll be loving you . . . love me . . .

handphone gone

was out for studying with bren todae… and sth amazing happened… Bren lost her handphone when the both of us had never leave the table at the same time… weird… we were so shocked when we realised that her phone was gone… good skills… and must be a pro lahz… steal the phone when it’s right in front of us… or rather.. we are blur…

got to meet up with bren tomolo to buy her phone and then continue with the stats mania…. was productive today… quite happy abt it… hehee.. hope i can do well for my stats… Louis is sick… hope he can get well soon bah… so sad that we din get to eat supper together when bren and I were seriously craving for supper… hehee…

Anyway… i wan to watch my harry potter… Bren had watched hers.. i will find someone to watch with me… if not i dun mind watching it alone… =)

left out

… my whole big family is in Jb.. while me.. I’m alone… No lunch.. NO dinner and no notification by them… I din even noe they are going JB todae… Feeling left out… feeling sad… Stupid exams.. Stupid funkie prof.. wonder why he juz can’t put in the symbols.. and i dun understand his language..

i’m tired.. feverish and lonely… guess.. it’s maggiee tonite again… i hate it.. but i’ve got to learn to love it….

insomnia

one.. two … three… four… five… and it will goes on and on and on.. practically for everynight.. counting each sheep.. fat, skinny, black and white… but the no. once went up to hundred thousands.. I’ve been losing my sleep.. I can be on my bed for hours… yet I can’t get to sleep…

After watching the variety show on Channel 8 yesterdae, i realised that i’ve got serious serious insomnia. Almost 47% of singaporeans have this insomnia, and why am i inside the 47%?! I hate this… I want back my sleep… the 12 hours of sleep… the lazy me… I no longer want to wake up after 3 hours of sleep… feeling tired yet can’t get to sleep… I want my sleep…

studying

study study study…. it seems that study is my hobby now… balance sheet, income statement, cashflow statement.. Studied quite alot… yet… i juz feel.. i need to buck up a little…. hehee…

Anyway… i will study hard… hehee