my mum’s birthday

1st of march.. my mum reminded me to go over to my auntie house for dinner.. i asked why.. she told me someone’s birthday..

After much thought, then i realised it was her birthday.. oOpz.. i forgot all about it.. haiz.. useless daughter.. Anyway.. i guess i did what i should as a daughter.. so i’m not feeling gulity or what.. bleah..

Went to get my jeans… i love that jeans.. but apparently, i like the levis one more.. damnn.. why muz i saw it after i bought that jeans… haiz.. I’m tired.. i too lazy to do what i should do.. such as studying and doin project.. 

Got a 8.30am class tomolo… yawnz… i need to get home early tomolo.. so how am i goin to do my project.. hmm… i need more time.. 

yawnz… time to sleep.. but it’s so early.. so unlike me..

Oh amazing ibook

my amazing ibook… i’ve got this dashboard and allow me to blog with that dashboard thingy
.. so cool.. i no longer need to go all the way to log in juz to blog.. haha.. i will blog more often now!!!! hehehee

finally she’s here

after so long… after a long wait.. finally she appeared in my dreeams… i woke up at 2pm.. bid weiling goodbye…

In the dream.. we were having a birthday celebration.. if i’m not wrong, it was for jiayi.. this time.. sandra, weiling, joyce, jiayi and I were there.. it’s after my school and after jiayi’s and sandra’s work.. everything is as usual… We sat in this small romantic room.. in the room, we were as usual, luffing and teasing each other.. I remembered that when i reached the restaurant, they had they dinner, so left with me and sandra.. weiling keep telling me to order those cakes, dun order those main course.. cute her.. i guess she muz have wanted some..

This time.. joyce was holding her tight, or rather hugging her.. we were all aware that she’s gone.. the feeling is just so weird.. in the dreams, everything seems real. It’s just like a get together after she’s gone.. For each birthday celebration, we will have a cake. this time it’s special.. my dear weiling love chocolate cake.. while the others love cheese cake.. for this time the cake speical: half chocolate and half cheese.. it’s made in such a way that it’s beautiful…. this time.. the candle is whilte.. i’ve no idea why two candles are white.. Weiling lighted up the candles, pushed it to me and tell me to blow… this is after jiayi had blowed the first time round… then i asked her why muz i blow the candles when i’m not the birthday girl… she smiled and tell me to blow off the candles… she said that she will blow one, i will blow the other… then i followed her instructions.. after that she smiled to me.. as though she’s giving me early birthday wishes…

After everything, we were sitting down, chatting as usual when she showed us photos and videos. She said that that’s where she’s living.. but i held those photos in my hand, everything is dark.. very dark.. i couldn’t figure out who were in the photos.. but i could see the doors of the apartments. then there was this little girl.. i dunno who is she.. ialso dun remembered what weiling said.. As for the video.. In the video, everyone was very happily, singing KTV, playing cards, partying.. everything.. could hear laughters etc.. she kept telling us that she is happy and very happy indeed.. yes.. i noe she’s happy.. and we are happy for her too.. In the dreams, there’s not tears no cries, only laughters and smiles.

I dunno how my dream ended.. but somehow i juz woke up.. After i woke up.. i cried… heartache..

No weiling.. i’m telling u now and i’m serious… i dun accept early birthday wishes.. i wan u to find me again.. i want u to say “happy birthday” to me.. i need nothing more but the 2 words..

haiz… time for school….

2 movies and a superwoman

i did my As critique thingy over the weekend.. din really noe what to write.. so as usual.. crapology.. a skill which all poly students mastered and a skill which is definitely necessary needed in uni as well..

Watched two movie consecutively, one on friday and the other on saturday. Watched munich on friday.. WOah! a nice and fantastic movie.. hahaa.. bloody scenes.. nice storyline.. but a sad one as well.. especially when it’s a true story.. it’sa 3hrs movie.. nice nice.. worth the movie tickets hahaa…

As for last nite, i watched the Rumour has it!!! funnie show.. and again.. it’s a true story.. then went to geylang to have dim sum supper.. nice nice…

This morning, someone jumped down from the 10th floor, landed on the shelter on the second floor.. oh gosh.. i heard from my mum that the one who commited suicide is the auntie from the 3rd floor.. she had depression all along in these years.. but she seems alrite.. but my dad said that she’s not.. my dad said that she had once snatch a chopper from the coffeeshop and threatened to chop ppl.. oh my god… my house here are full of weird ppl… anyway.. for that auntie.. i feel bad for her parents.. Both her mum and dad are old and had to rely on walking stick to walk ard.. besides.. both her parents live in my block too. haiz.. sad case..

I’m so tired.. school starting tomolo!!!!!! oh shit…more shit coming in.. before i can clear this pile of shit, i can forsee a new pile of shit coming.. damn… haiz…

I’ve made many many ppl angry yesterdae.. Now is p…

I’ve made many many ppl angry yesterdae.. Now is past 12am.. a brand new day… i hope there will be a brand new start..

I’m sorry for i did.. i’ve no intention to hurt u… I dunno what else to sae coz i’ve said too many sorries..

And now.. Sorry no longer holds it’s meaning anymore..

my dear huiling

Huiling arh huiling…. i’m sorrie… for raking up those painful stuff and touching on sensitive issues last nite.. i dunno that it will hurt u that much… i’m sorrie ger…

I dunno if i’m right to tell u to leave him.. though it may seems to be a simple statement made, i noe it isn’t easy at all…. it takes a lot of courage to say no to a relationship which is 1 year plus old…. But It seems that, no matter if u were with him or not with him, u will still be sad.. perhaps u should let it go?? that’s what i think. But if u think that there’s future to this relationship then i guess perhaps u should carry on.. I dun wan to see u like this… Love may be painful but not in this way.. not when u are forced to leave him…

My dear friend, u once told me that we live for ourselves.. u once told me that relationship is sth which has no right or wrong.. think it over ya? call me if u wan or need me k? i noe i’m a useless friend.. but i hope i can offer my listening ear ya? take care.. u still got many friends ard u… take care

A break isn’t a break

Went shopping with bren… looked at so many things.. tried on some of them.. but most of the time, we were talking.. Went into mango and my dear bren bought one jeans. i love the jeans too.. but i’m broke… anyway.. it’s a nice shopping trip todae… thou it’s onli me and bren, but we never lack of things to tok abt… we talked abt her mike, louis and many other ppl.. too many to name….

Oh ya… my huiling is finally back la.. tot she’s goin to stay there to be PR.. girl, since u are back.. it’s time for u to find a goal in life… it’s time for u to find a job k… i dun wan to nag at u anymore.. coz i noe it wun help and u wun care… i also dun wan to be a naggy granny.. As for the facial, i’ve been doin mask myself recently, so my skin is still quite alrite. wun be goin for facial that soon…

i’m so sick of school.. juz met another problem in the project.. my group couldn’t find a company to do project on.. it sux.. i feel so bad too as i can’t really help in the part of finding company… haiz.. hate mmyself for it…. everything is not goin well for me this year…. can i juz end everything like that… suddenly, i miss weiling alot..

argh…. what a monthly torture it is… i’m res…

argh…. what a monthly torture it is…

i’m resting on my bed like a bed ridden patient.. my feet are cold.. my stupid menses cramp.. it’s like hell… Jolene asked me if i wanted to go sentosa tomolo for a sch even.. haiz.. if i go tomolo, i shall turn the sea red.. haiz…

I’m really in pain.. is this how i’m goin to spend my break?? can i really have a break to enjoy myself..?!!! sickening.. haiz…

bitching session

Had a super long bitching session with bren and jols yesterdae.. haha…

We were on net discussing abt the NYP scandal thingy and then we felt the urge to go out.. coz it’s our term break… Jols felt like suppering.. and i were hungry too.. so the three of us intend to get some supper. Brenda took a cab to my house first and then went off to fetch jolene. We went to geylang for the dim sum and then sat down to bitch… haha.. we reached there at ard 12 and then bitched till ard 3 before we decided to move off to cineplex for a movie.

Took a cab there and we were luffing madly in the taxi.. darling brenda is so cute!! hahaa… On out way to geylang, jolene asked me why i wore shorts to geylang when i noe there the place is so dirty and many ppl will be looking at me.. haha.. but the problem is i alwayz wear shorts there and that i din make up or what shit. So i feel it’s alrite.. but that brenda said sth like, “please don’t make me cut of my pants for u, i love my pants.” hahaha so funnie!!! besides that, there are so many funie things that bren said.. made me and jols luff our hearts out.. hahaa

Anyway i din noe that bren is a christian until yesterdae.. or rather todae early morning.. haha

ohoh.. back to the movie.. watched casanova.. not bad.. it’s funnie.. but i dun like their language.. it’s those literature kind of english.. i hate them.. hahaa.. but it’s really not bad.. at least there’s a storyline… reached home at ard 6.45am… hahaa.. a fun nite out with them..

We bitched about everything and anything.. hahhaa… hmm.. we shall more of the supper cum bitching session!! hahaa..

Finally it’s over

Finally i managed to rush out all my reports.. 2 reports in a day… what the hell… the most unethical report i ever did.. i merely find info and put into the report… i dun care anymore.. i juz too tired to go think…

Suddenly i feel so lost.. it seems that long time since i meet up with huiling, qiujin, porkies, poly friends etc… my life seems so empty without them.. Haiz.. is it true that friends bound to leave when we go on to another stage of our life?? Besides Qiujin, all the others are either working or finding work to do. I failed to be a good friends.. to porkies, huiling and many people… i dunno why.. i juz feel that i dun have time for everyone.. And i’m so passive that i alwayz wait for ppl to call me out.. i noe it’s not good but… i dunno why too… haiz…

I’m sorry friends… i will find time for u all ya?! take care gers…