For the past few nights, I kept crying.. for anyth…

For the past few nights, I kept crying.. for anything else, but her. On one night, i hated him so much that i can’t wait to attend his funeral.. then i slowly cried myself to sleep.. On the second night, i dreamt of her, but i couldn’t make up what was the dream about. i woke up and started crying all over again.. finally, last nite was more peaceful than any other nite… I’m praying for her.. hoping that she’s happy and loved..

Things are not goin smoothly for me.. i kept reading. I guess it’s the only few times when u get to hear that i’m actually reading a storybook. I realy dislike the life i’m having now… so i rather marvel at how beautiful other ppl’s story are and be happy for them.

time i get back to my storybook.. my life is almost empty now.. no fun, no joy, nothing worth mentioning…

i dunno how things would be like… haiz.. i’m afr…

i dunno how things would be like… haiz.. i’m afraid things wun be as easy as i thought…

my pimples are popping out one by one as though they are contagious, or in fact, i guess they are highly infectious… hate them… sucky…

haiz.. i’m praying hard.. that things will be okie.. although somehow i can sense that things will not be okie… haiz…

last nite, when i was on my way to Plaza singapura…

last nite, when i was on my way to Plaza singapura for X men movie, i turned to louis and told him abt the jerk.. abt how he broke his promise. I guess all of us are experiencing intense hatred towards him.. he dunno how angelic is our weiling.. Indeed, i hate him, very much. I was holding back my tears when i was complaining to him… i guess louis din wan to make any comment bah, or is it that that traffic was too heavy for him to think abt what i say.. no matter what it is, at least i feel better after that..

After weiling’s incident, everytime i see motorcyclist riding at high speed. I can’t help but to tell louis why ppl dunno how to cherish his life and think for the pillion… Louis once made fun of me and wound down the window, he said “tell him lor!” IRRITATING… haha… but he cheered me up.. =) Haiz… i guess we are still not in the position to point at him and educate him the importance of life.. He wun understand.. coz he is never near death before.. He merely juz lead to the death of a ger, who might not even stand a very important placce in his heart.. He is too ignorant, too selfish to learn that how important she is to us..

Enough of that bastard.. now i should be proud to say that i bought sth cheap and effective.. Bought the cyclax mask that the podders are raving about. Ya, it really works. It’s pretty effective and most importantly, it’s very cheap!

well well well… no mood to blog le lahz.. i need money… haiz…

read jiayi’s blog… sometimes i wonder.. how can …

read jiayi’s blog… sometimes i wonder.. how can ppl break his promise juz after 3 months… In order to see weiling for that last time, he promised that he will cherish his life and sell his bike away.. 3 months later.. he can actually get himself a new bike… thats not the way to treat someone he feel guility towards for causing her death directly or indirectly, which i feel is more pf a direct connection than a indirect one.

Jiayi was cursing and swearing… calling him a jerk… in fact i guess, she is still calling him a jerk. I feel that he is worse than a jerk. How can someone be so cold blooded.. how can he cause so many ppl to lose her and still break his very last promise he made to uncle and weiling…

I still remember what he said to weiling.. he told weiling to wait for him… Wait for him? Is he worth it? I’m speechless… he is way beyond words can ever describe.. call him a jerk, bastard, idiot, fcuker.. he is far worse than that.. he is someone who dunno how precious life is, someone who dunno how to cherish ppl ard him, someone who dunno how wonderful our weiling is, someone who is so selfish and self centered, someone who shouldn’t call himself a man nor a human being.. coz he is a beast..

Jiayi asked u once.. Is it worth it? Now i’m asking u again… Is it really worth it?

Today is no way better than yesterday… Speechles…

Today is no way better than yesterday… Speechless.. No one cares anyway…

Leave me alone… juz let me recover myself…

My sky has fallen

My sky has fallen… it hit me hard on my head.

When i woke up today, i was feeling down… I woke up and stoned for a while and then go back to my bed. I couldn’t sleep, i couldn’t cheer myself up.. I forced myself to get ready for the appointment i had with huiling.. I looked at the mirror, trying to force a smile, but i couldn’t. I looked at the mirror, looked at the disgusting bloated face of mine, the elephant thighs i have, the disgusting big waist i’ve got… I hate myself..

Went to the orchard road… walked here and there with huiling, trying to find a birthday present.. but i’ve got no mood to look at them.. When ppl look at me, i stared at them… I became a nasty freak..

went for the facial.. i juz behave as though i was sleeping.. din wan to utter a single word.. i was absolutely feeling depressed… After i finished my facial, it was pouring.. the sky was dark, as though it was falling.. i strolled in the rain, from angelsky to plaza singapura.. i’m like an idiot, i guess i’m an idiot..

It was only 4.15 when i reached PS and i suppose to reach Tanjong pagar at 6.30… well.. I’ve got to rot, hence i shopped from the basement up to the top level and then from the top to the basement.. i stoned, i rot, i sat down, i sigh… i did all i can.. but time was passing real slowly… I’m juz like a kid who is sitting there aimlessly, trying to find things to do…

Got to tanjong pagar, attended the lamest talk… then i can’t wait to get out of the place, so i left the form there and forgot to collect it back. I remember all these things onli when i was sitting at the bench, waiting for my train…. I reluctantly got out of the station and make my way back to the office..

For the whole day, i din eat anything… i merely drink some water and milo… well.. perhaps i will be slim down as well… The whole day is lame.. the whole day is sucky…. arGh!!! i can’t wait for the day to end… and i seriously need to work and money…

I finally decided not to be lazy and post some pho…

I finally decided not to be lazy and post some photos.. hahah.. anyway, we took really little photos as we are busy shopping. Besides that, we dun even dare to tell the local ppl to take photos for us.. so!!! we onli have these few pathetic photos..

The photo below is my “buys” on the first day… I’m sorrrie becoz I only take photos of these “buys” on the first day!! hahaha..

We then went to suan lom… and drank some beer.. and look at his face..!!! so cute!! hahaa

In bangkok, we often lost our way and practically dunno where the cab driver is bringing us to… the onli building and cue that we have to indicate that we are near our hotel is this tall tall high rise building!!!!! Baiyoke sky… hahaa

on our last day of the trip, we went to the condom and cabbage.. nice food, nice service, nice ambience too… In fact, is the nicest meal we ever have in BKK.. hahaa..

hehehee…. thats all lahz.. was busy shopping and was so tired when i went back to hotel!! hehee… sorrie arhz!!!

I’m back from bangkok… bought many many stuff.. …

I’m back from bangkok… bought many many stuff.. so much that they can’t fit into my luggage… but i’m too lazy to post pics on what i bought… hahaa…

ANyway, today morning, my last day in bangkok, i found myself crying when i was awake.. Guess what i dreamt of? I dreamt of weiling.. i din get to see her… What happen in my dream was that it was her funeral and her mum was crying and crying… everyone was weeping… I only remmeber all these, nothing more. When i woke up, i realised i cried in my dreams and i found tears on my face…

Anyway.. i’m really tired.. and the trip is fun… =)

I am feeling real bored.. When i’m bored, i will v…

I am feeling real bored.. When i’m bored, i will visit all my friend’s blog to see how they are doin.. I am bored for almost every day, so i’m doing blog reading for every other day..

In jinglun’s blog, he mentioned abt music talent such as playing piano and guitar.. This reminds me of her…She was so proud of herself for being able to play one song.. the same old song.. Then, at the later part of his blog, he mentioned that how he wished he could learn to play cannon in D and shan hu hai… these two songs, both are her favourites..

Read joyce’s OD, got to know that she visits her on a weekly basis.. At this point of time, i feel guilty… for not visiting her, for not being there on her last day of funeral, for not being there to send her off… i’m selfish.. alwayz the selfish one… I really dun like the feeling that someone dear is leaving me for good.. I hate to send ppl off at the ariport, let alone bid her goodbye for good.. I’m sorry weiling… u will alwayz be remembered.. i will alwayz be missing u..

It’s too late for me to say all these.. wonder if u will hear what i said… read what i wrote.. If u do, i juz wan to apologise… I’m sorry girl..

Flying off in 2 days time… my luggage is not eve…

Flying off in 2 days time… my luggage is not even half filled, but i’m goin to fill it up with lots and lots of things.. hehehee… I really hope that there will be lots and lots of things to buy. I’ll shop till i drop!!! hehee…i shall post the pics and what i buy from bangkok when i come back… lalala… let u all jealous!! hehee..

**Happy**