working life

Started my internship one week ago, i’ve a better understanding of my job scope. The company is great with a nice pantry filled with nice tibits and beverages. Good For ME!! However, the company’s aircon seems to be working on a turbo and it’s usually freezing cold. I brought my shawl and my marketing director had gave me and the other intern, name Yiming, a solidworks jacket each. Well, the jacket somehow saved my life. It keeps me warm and prevent my flu from getting worse. 2 days after i started working, I caught this bad flu which make me feel so lethargic and grumpy. On friday, things got worse and i was sneezing like mad. i used up 4 packets of my tissue and had no choice but to purchase two whole new pack of pocket tissue. ArgGh… It’s terrible. It makes me feel so tired when my nose and body juz don’t cooperate with me. Thank god that it’s weekend and i can catch up on my sleep, and i’m seriosuly sick of those formal wear and the long long route to suntec city. It’s torturous to walk that long distance with heels, especially in the lazy morning. I’m sure i’ll get used to it.

I hate flu bugs…

Stay Away

I dunno what did i do to offend ppl. WHy muz all of them bug me and even blame me for things which i din even do wrong. I’m really got so tired. I’m falling sick again. I’m having fever and cold, yet ppl can juz throw temper at me juz because he is not feeling good.

Well.. JUZ FUCK OFF.

Oh well…

After my series of health checkups, i thought things will get better. But, my cousin juz admitted to hospital for a serious backache. The diagnosis is that her tailbone has a splint (i dunno what it’s call) and causes pain. She couldn’t walk nor move. haiz.. poor thing. She can’t remove it coz it will have high chances of getting paralyzed. So all she could do is goin for physiotherapy. Hope she can get well soon lahz..

I was watching the news and got to know that plastic bags cost money now. Louis alwayz complain that i have big bags which i dump everything in. But could i have a small bag when i need to even put one plastic bag in, just in case i need to get sth. Not that i dun bear to part with the money, but i’m environmental friendly. Ya rite.. haha..

I’m juz wondering, we alwayz put this plastic bag over our rubbish bin to collect those rubbish. Now that it costs us money, i wonder what are the other alternatives to do it. Something good that it will not cause those liquid stuff to leak and it is able to withhold great weights. hmm.. we need an alternative for this. =_=

Thank you Huiling!!!

I was home and i saw this yellow envelop on my table. I looked at the handwriting and i knew who the sender is. My dear huiling. Long time since i received her letters, I love to get her cards. simple yet sweet. A very small gift yet priceless. =) thank you girl..

I will jiayou one.. dun worry… =) thank you so much!!

I LOVE YOU!!!! 10 years of friendship, 10 years of love… =)

I’m fine…

Hi ppl.. I’ve seen a doctor and i’m fine… really fine.. juz need to monitor the lump. I’m fineee…

Okie.. Today when i was registering at the counter in national cancer centre. i realised sth. They have my record and details. I guess almost all hospitals have my details and stuff coz i’ve been running from one hospital to another hospital. Okie.. maybe not KK.. coz i not ready to have babies yet.. hahaa..

Yaawns.. time to sleep well after having nites of nightmares.. =)

Thank you everyone.

Thank you everyone.. I’m seriously very fine.. I’m really okie… I juz need sometime for myself. I apologize for not switching on my phone and stuff. Sorry to make so many people worry. I’m reallly really okie…

I love u all too lahz.. Now that my mum is so worried, woman being woman, needs to talk to feel better. So, almost my all my extended relatives noe that I might be getting breast cancer. Thank you mum. But that’s not helping me. =_= hahaha.. I believe things will be fine lahz.. After spending time alone, i came to this consensus with my breast.. haha.. as long as the surgeon dun cut off the WHOLE breast, i dun mind goin for the operation. The left side is half cup bigger than the right anyway.. This might be the chance to equalize them. wahahahaa… It’s juz a 7mmx5mmx6mm lump i think juz need to scope that out lahz. watever. shall handle that shit tomolo. and i shall enjoy my day today! Leave those worries and shit till tomolo. procrastinating works this time.. hahhaa!

擦不干的眼泪

当眼泪干了，我跟自己说“算了”。但是不知为何眼泪有开始流了。不知不觉，我哭了三个钟头。哭了又停，停了又哭。我跟自己说哭也没用，但不知为何眼泪会再次落下。我学着要爬起来，但我真的累了，厌倦了这种生活。这次，我连爬起来的力也没了。我一直躲在原地哭，不停地哭，好彷徨，好无助。

老妈问我；“为什么跑去睡觉！” 我听见了，但我不想答复。我总不能说 “因为我不想让你看我哭泣。”
天黑了。躲在黑暗里，我再也不怕老妈子看见我哭泣，再也不会让他们伤心，担心。

I’m tired…

Things are very wrong.. wrong in very sense.. One blow after another.. referred from one doc to another doc. Has been running from one hospital to another hospital in the midst of those cruel school terms. It’s not easy and i’m tired.. one after another.. i dun think i can take it any longer. I just wan to lead a simple life is that so difficult?

I just want to spend some peaceful days, some happy days. Is that really too much to ask for?

In the midst of typing this entry. My mum came in. Somehow she could sense that things are not right. Well.. i tried to control my emotions and tears. But when she kept asking me more and more questions, i couldn’t take it anymore. I broke down. I only cried four times in front of my mum. When my grandma passed away, when my uncle passed away, during my parents-meeting session and when weiling passed away. Today is the fifth, i totally broke down in front of her. I can’t control my tears, i can’t control myself.

She’s worried i noe. But i can’t even utter a single word out. she left the room with many of her unanswered questions. Just when she left the room, she wanted me to go see the surgeon that operated for my auntie. This time i threw my pillows and everything at her. I know she’s worried, i know she mean well. But can she understand that what really terrify me is that I don’t want to be like my auntie. I cannot imagine myself goin thru what my auntie had went thru. I seen her cry, I was there throughout the whole period. Things are not easy.

I’m making everyone worried. I noe. Sometimes, i really feel things should be kept to myself. What for making everyone worried. one unhappy person is enough, we don’t need 2.

Sorry people

Sorry people.. I think I’m making a lot of people worry about me.

I’m fine people. I was just feeling down yesterday. Today will be a better day.. Dun worry about me lahz.. I’m kicking and alive. Signs have shown that I’m still healthy and still has a long way to go. Shall collect my medical report later. I’ll be okie! =)

我的彩虹

忐忑不安的心情，说不出的害怕。
我哭了。
我自认不是一个坚强的女生，但我也已经试着学习要坚强一点。 我不停地学着我老妈所教的：在哪里跌倒就要在那里爬起来。我试过了，但每一次我爬起来时已经遍体鳞伤。所有发生的一切真的是令我喘不过气 来。我不想哭，我试着强忍着眼泪，但到了最后我还是哭了。看着镜子里的我，我不停地问着；“我到底做错了什么，老天要对我如此的残酷？“

当掉落的眼泪干了，也应跟自己说 ”算了，命该如此，也只好不停地学着爬起来。” 人生的路是漫长的，不平坦的，总会遇到不如意的事。大家都一样，分别就在我注定跌得比人多。跌多了，皮也厚了，也就不是那么痛了。

心不停地跳着，仿佛在不停地为我打气，不停地叫我不要放弃。跌倒时的痛，是在提醒着我，我还没走到人生的尽头。我还活着，地球还是不停地旋转。我会不停地走，我深信总有一天我会看到属于我的彩虹。