OMG

I just had the worst meal ever… i was staring at this weird fish that my mum cooked today. i held it up and the oil is dripping down like the tap water. OMG… how scary it is.. I’m really a good daughter, i swear! Coz, i still attempt to eat it. When i removed the skin of the fish, the meat was soggy, not with water but OIL. HOW DISGUSTING!!!!!! grrrrR.. disgusting.. I swear i will never let my future children take this kind of food… If i can’t cook, i will learn. I couldn’t believe how a woman who has been a housewife for so many years cook this kind of rubbish. Grrr.. i dun think the cat will want to eat it either.. poor fish who died for a woman who doesn’t noe how to cook.

It’s almost Friday!

I’m sure time passes pretty fast! Before i know it, friday is almost here again! I’m pretty sick of putting on makeup on my dry face and the half-opened eyes. It’s really hard to apply mascara on that pair of garfield eyes in morning. I think the worst thing would be putting on contact lens on my tired eyes, somehow, it’s just so uncomfortable!

It’s okie! Coz it’s friday tomolo! hurray! I can dress down!!! YEAH!!!! I’m putting on weight coz i’m feeling really bored and each time i feel bored, i will juz walk to the room next to me-the pantry. hhaha. i will juz grab some chocolates, biscuit, tea or some starbucks coffee and will juz sit there and enjoy my food. That really cause me to put on weight.

Though I’ve more and more work being assigned to me, I’m really learning things that i can’t possibly learn them from books. I’m glad to be there and really glad that i’ve this wonderful pantry next to my room. wahhahaa!!!

This is Weird…

I’ve this weird thing.. My left side of the nose caught a flu, while the right side of my nose seems perfectly fine. The mucus of the left side is juz like the river, it never ever seems to dry up. Well, just now when i was taking my med, i was contemplating whether to take half pill or a pill coz only left side caught a cold. Well, in the end i took the whole pill, but the flu dun seems to be getting better. Instead, it’s making me drowsy. Time for me to sleep soon i think!

Holy shit… I dun think i would ever find relevant information unless i’m willing to pay for those research papers which is like… quite impossible.

well… I’m feeling so frustrated now as i’ve been searching for the information like a web spider, but it seems like my effort is not paying off. I’m sick of facing the computer. They gave me 2 coms to work on, which is redundant!!! coz i only need one PC and can they turn the other computer to a human being who can gossip with me?

grrrrrrrr….. it’s friday, and i’m sure my brain noes that it’s friday coz it never seems to be working since I’m back from lunch break. I seriously need to talk to someone… Perhaps i should juz pick up my phone and call someone, just to say hi. I wonder if i’ve got bad breath coz i’ve never speak to anyone after lunch. =_=

You can’t stop me from talking, juz like u can never stop me from eating. Try casting those fattening curse or sickening comments. I will just eat like there’s no tomolo. Since i can’t talk, i choose to eat. So, i took chocolate, chips, peas, ceral, biscuits. I’m so full now but my mouth is still itchy. I guess i juz have to give it a good scratch. =_=

Don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.

I can strongly feel the hatred u have in me. I noe, i feel for you. Coz, the feeling is mutual. Since you have been comparing me with so many people, it shows that you don’t mind me comparing u with other mums as well. You noe my temper, you noe me well.

Work has been.. shitty. Lots of research and i shall draft the report tomolo. I guess i got to complete it somehow by wednesday bahz. Big boss is treating tomolo, and that’s where my FT formal dining skills comes to play. I need some decent clothes to wear for tomolo.. I need ideassss…..

i wanna move out

sometimes, i really can’t stand the kind of things happening in this family of mine. Perhaps I dun like the way my family is, or I really hope to have a different life of my own. My parents dun smile, my mum is stubborn and often like to act smart. I dun like. I really dun like. I find it hard for me to bring my friends home, coz i understand that it is hard for my friends to feel comfortable at my place when me myself dun feel that way. I closed my door, i want my own space. Just because i hate what is it like outside. I noe my dad loves me, he dotes on me as though this is what he owes me. But in fact, i owe him too much. I’m not saying that my mum dun dote on me, but i juz feel that she’s too dominating and we have this generation gap. She assume that i have to behave like all my the other cousins who are at least 15 years older than me. 15 years, how much the world has change and we value different things and have different goals in life.

I’m grateful to have my cousins with me all these years to coach me and to teach me what is right and what is not. I’m thankful because they are the ones who made my childhood memories wonderful. We joke, we luff, we quarrel just like real siblings. We share our food and they never fail to leave the best parts for me. As much I enjoy those times with them, we have to admit that we are living in different times, we are experiencing different things all together. I dun understand how could my mum compare in this way. Dun tell me that staying over at friends’ house is wrong, coz even my cousins bring friends home to stayover. In fact, i’m of very good terms with her friends and till today, she sometimes still bring me for her friend’s gathering. I remember who her friends are and could even match the names to the faces.

I really wanted to make it clear to my mum. It is her that deters me from bringing my friends home. It is her that i dread coming home. Who likes to see a black face when she gets home. If i dun feel comfortable in this house, do u think i will bring my friends back to suffer with me? Before YOU compare me with my cousins, why not compare YOURSELF with my friends’ mum. If i din compare u in this way, can you kindly stop comparing me with my cousins. Afterall, we are 17 years apart and we are experiencing different life, having different values in life. GET REAL! the world is alwayz changing.

I swear i will move out once i’m financially stable. Not that i want to be independent, but i know i will feel better when i’m out there alone. i dun mind the household chores, coz they are nothing. In fact, it is no longer a chore when compared to trying hard to stay sane here.

Irritating.

Went for my braces consultation on the 10th and this time, she attempted to rotate my 2 teeth, so that it will be straight and in line with the rest. That’s explain the great pain I’m goin thru. I think the most irritating thing is that I couldn’t bite. The pain is too intense for me to bite down with my front teeth, therefore, all i could do is to break them up into small pieces and push them to my molar to chew. It’s still painful, but at least it’s less painful this way.

Juz when i tot the pain is bad enough, i realized that my open bite is getting bigger and bigger as the braces treatment goes on. I could even drool in my sleep coz the open bite is too big. I guess the worst is yet to come as i need to align my teeth straight before i could go for my jaw surgery. As for the jaw surgery, most probably would be in my next summer holidays and I’m goin to consult the Alexandra Hospital surgeon. I heard that she is really good and caring. I will need to go to the polyclinic to get a referral letter to refer me to her, so as to get the subsidized fee.

My teeth is too painful to go for the mother’s day dinner lahz… arghh…

grrrrrr

Arghh.. I’v been doing the same thing over and over again. I’m alwayz in this room doing the same thing, facing the same monitor, clicking on the same mouse. I tink i seriously need a job that i need to interact with people and something tht brings me sense of satisfaction everyday. I need to talk to people. I dn like to stay in the room and click on the bloody mouse. I need something that’s really enable me to catch some fresh air. oh godd.. That sounds so much like a sales job, either a indoor sales or outdoor sales job. =_=”"

I really want to shout aloud, i wan to tell everyone that, this is shitt!!!!! argggggh! i feel like cursing and swearing in the quiet office. Argggh!!!!! I wan to knock off soooon

10/5/07

I can’t get to sleep. For some reason, i kept thinking about the same thing over and over again. Each time, it brings me even more pain. Even though i hasn’t been sleeping well for the past few nights, I’m now more awake than ever. Pain keeps me awake.

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