Half Awake yet Unable to sleep

Really not feeling right, so woke up to pop these two fever pills and hoping to go back to sleep. But, I simply couldn’t. I check my phone and alright.. no message or missed calls. I just feel .. alright. whatever, i just too sick to think.

And I am here typing away with a messy brain. I think i better take it offline.

dizzy spells

I think this time is really for real. I am getting dizzy spells every now and then. My brain seems to lack of oxygen after coughing continuously for sometime. Then the thick phlegm just clogged up my throat and nose making breathing difficult. The fever is on and off but thank god I am not feeling cold or sth. If not I really need to do a blood test for dengue.

Work has been okay but I trying hard to do something more, I trying hard to have a better understanding of the industry. I am really trying hard to learn. I guess I really need to make up for the lost time during my school time and put in effort to learn and explore new ways to market the product.

I am getting dizzy and I think I should stop typing and get my ass to bed.

I WILL MAKE IT TO WORK TML! I WILLLLLL….

First time I blacked out

I fainted on my way to work in the MRT. Is damn diulian.

I was wearing pants and shirt, dressed up nicely for work when I feel suffocated and then my vision just blacked out. It’s my bloody first time fainting and seriously, is truly unglam. ARGGH. I got out of the train, sat for 10 whole minutes but my cold sweat keep breaking out and my face is so damn cold and pale. For a moment, I though I was dead. =_=

I think my flu and fever is really worse than I tot. I guess It is much safer to work from home today. I should start working now.

Time to Work…

I will be starting work tml. But, I am still having fever, flu and cough. They just come in a package. Sucky.

Shall clear my mails early in the morning tml.

Bangkok 2008

As promised, Here are some photos and updates on the Bangkok trip.

I snapped my hair off few days before my bangkok trip and true enough, I can’t get used to the pokey fringe. The weather was really warm and humid that I really need to pin up my fringe. As many of my friends know, or judging from my past pictures, my fringe was always pinned up or hairband-ed. BUT, this time, my fringe was too short and layered that hair band can’t hold them up. So, in the end I resort to headbands. I look like as if I got a bandaged head but yah, it feels so much better with the fringe off my forehead.

Alright,enough of the crap, some of the pictures! The hotel lodge is located 5 minutes away from the BTS skytrain. The road is a quite bumpy and filled with “land mines”. Once i stepped on one of this lose bricks and the black water just splashed onto Louis legs. He was hoping mad. WAHAHAH.

From those pictures, I think can tell that I was sick esp in the later days. =_=

BOOO! My eyes are closing and I look sickly on the second last day. DAMN.

I looked so much better in this photo.. and this….

My thoughts are very random, and i shall just post the pictures here lah… The effect of my med hasn’t wear off yet.

Yes yes… I look sick. hahaha…

I bought this zebra from chaktuchak and i love ittttt.. haha.. It’s so cute!

Louis loves the coconut there and he always insist to scrap the coconut meat out in a piece. =_=

i manage to get my favourite. It’s some kind of jelly outer layer with some green bean paste filling. =)

We were shopping in one of the big shopping mall, I think is Isetan or somewhere there, when we saw this huge trophy!

It’s a huge trophy by stacking some beer cans up. I forgot is Heineken or Carlsburg. Wahaha.

More pictures will be on Facebook! I really enjoyed this trip!

Thanks so much for carrying my large shopping bags! Wheee!

Love you!

Hiding away in a seclude corner

It has been exactly a week since my last paper. Since then, I’ve gotten back the result for one of my module. I screwed it because I don’t speak up in class. Sometimes, no matter how much hardwork you put in, it just dun pay off. What’s important is the impression management and how you make people remember you. This is just so important in SMU life. Well, I’m not really affected (as in devastated) by the lousy grade because I expected it.

I was contemplating if I should checked my work mail. But in the end, I just lack of the courage to do so, simply because I know that there will be mails flooding my mailbox. I shall clear the massive amount of emails (approx 60) on Monday. For now, I just want to relax, hide in a space that only belong to me.

I want to cry.

I want to vent my frustration.

As I slowly reflect on my life, I silently feel grateful for making some decisions, and of course regretful for making some lousy ones. This is life, isn’t it?

I made the right choice by going to polytechnic because in there, I met wonderful friends who accompanied me through my mugging times in polytechnic. We luffed together, we rushed our projects together, we massage for each other when we were tired after rushing some project. We cried in each other arms, we see one of us getting married and also, we sent one of them off in tears. We went through everything but things started to change after i stepped into smu.

Then, I decided to take up my degree in SMU. SMu highlights that they are different and true enough people in there is really different. People in there came from different backgrounds. I struggled and I learn. The life in smu is just so different that we don’t even know how to tell others how different we are. The life just suck in here. We are like going for the amazing race, one stop after another, one meeting after another, one presentation after another. We are racing against the time and even though we are situated in city, the path to MRT station is just so draggy that it irks me to step back there during my weekends.

There are just so much going on behind the glass panels of the building, so many late nights, so much tears and frustation, so much fun. However, my decision to step into smu has a great change to my life. I struggled with my fees and my allowance. At first, I tried to squeeze all my modules into 3 years to save on my school fees. But, I see that my resume is just so empty and it will do me no good in future. I decided to take up an internship one year ago and delayed my graduation by another 6 months. After that internship, I initiated to work as part time, working during my pathetic free hours before or after school and projects.

It is hard but I know I will make it. I’ve survived the one year and It’s only another semester.

Work is gonna start on Monday and sometimes, I feel sad leading such life. I hasn’t really got a truly school holiday which I can sleep in for hours, laze around, do some manicure and mask. I studied, I worked and yet sometimes, everything is just not appreciated. It has been 7 years since I really get a school holiday.

Like what chris said, I am always complaining. Yah, I nagged, I complained, I grumbled and I bitched.

Sorry to all those reading this long post. I’m just not in my best of mood and I just feel like grumbling a little (alright, I know is a long complaint). My thoughts are just so random now and I guess it’s the effect of my cold medicine. I hasn’t recover from my cold, which has been on and off for like 2 weeks.

Alright, I should sleep. Photos of bangkok will come later.

woooohooo!

Yeahhh! It’s finally the end of the exam.

I’m done with my paper and waiting for Louis to finish his. I think he has finished doing his paper very LONG time ago but I have no idea why he just don’t want to hand in his paper. Well well.. I dun think it’s worth it to stone over the paper in the exam hall, so, I came out right after I finished mine. I rather spend the time blogging than to stay in there and stone.

I checked the paper many times and I was amazed when I looked at the paper. It’s so familiar and indeed, I am right. The prof is just so lazy that he took one whole exercise out as exam. =D Big smile! I scrapped thru this exam manz.

Next will be Bangkok. I am going to shop till I drop. I want the buy so many things! And after typing so much, louis is still not out yet. I don’t know why. Arghhh.. ooooh he is here, but he went to the toilet. crapppp. I don’t know why… =|

can he just hand in the ffreaking paper and GO? It’s just not worth it to sit on the paper. Bleahhhh

Hate Myself

This morning I was supposed to meet Amelia at AMK mrt station to make our way to the airport. But i woke up at 5.15 and went for a bath. Then, I feel so cold and giddy. So in the end, i message amelia that i can’t make it as I was not feeling well, having fever.

Hai.. I really want to send calin off! I hate myself. I shall wait for calin to online and then talk to her.

Sorry Calin and Amelia.

I miss u Calin. =|

I love my short hair

Out of impulse i went for a hair cut today. I wanted to cut my hair only after my bangkok. BUT, calin and brenda tempted me. They went for a haircut today as well and I really want a new haircut. SO, I called Alex and then go down straight away. heh heh… Amelia couldn’t resist the temptation and went for the haircut too! She has her Bangs back! haha..

As for me, I cut my hair real short. Some kind of boy cut which Alex wanted to cut for me last time round. It turn out really gorgeous. hmm.. gorgeous is not really the right word, I should say Chic!

Dah da!

And the back!

I LOVE MY HAIR!!

It dries so easily after my shower and my head really feels light now!!! wheee… I’m so happppy! It just feel so much better after the haircut. Although I still got another paper to go, but I am already in the holiday mood. I wanna pack my luggage now!!! =)

I love my hair! Seriously. But, my dad is so devastated that his son is botak and his daughter is trying to look like a man. wahahaa..

At the wrong time.

It’s obvious that I’m doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. I am blogging when I just had my paper this afternoon and going to have another one tml. Yet, I’m here blogging away.

I guess, I’m already too tired of studying. Mentally tired. I’ve been studying for my whole life. I asked myself some questions and realize that I’ve lost my motivation to study TOTALLY.

I asked what if I really do so badly this sem that I dropped from a high credit to nothing at all. I don’t seems to mind as much as before. I used to have honours and now there’s nothing. I think what’s important is to secure a job.

need to get back to my case… I’m trying to find some gold out of the shit.