Now that I know what I have been waiting for. What is the next step?

Confused. Heartache.

I looked through my old pictures and i suddenly realized the things i have lost as i grow up.

When I was young, teacher would ask me what is my ambition. The answer is pure and simple, sincerely out of my heart. My ambition is something which I would love doing, teacher said. So, I said Air Stewardess or Hotel representatives. Then teacher followed by asking why. Because I love to see people smile, I like to feel appreciated when I did something special that makes them smile. The teacher said “Good and Keep this in mind.”

However, my teacher didn’t tell me about salary and the economic factors that would affect my decision when I grow up. Now, here I am, pondering what is my passion. Perhaps, I should go back to see things with a simple heart, What is it that you like to do?

I don’t want to smile,
I don’t wish to talk.

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

Finally, I am going onto a plane and FLY! I am so going to shanghai!!!!

Time to book the hotel!!

My iPhone is just like my laptop. Love it sooo much! With this little gadget in my hands, I can do almost everything I do with my laptop.

It is always my excuse for not getting to the lonely laptop on my study table. I love my bed so much that I wish I can eat, sleep, watch tv and do almost everything (except shitting) while resting on my bed. My dad says I am like paralyzed child. My mum says I am lazy. My brother can’t say much abt me because he is very much the same as me.

It’s Saturday! My sleeping day. Time to sleep!!!

“You should just learn to stop saying whatever that comes to your mind”

“You should think about how people will interpret what you say. You might not mean it that way, but people will see it that way”

My mum always scolded me for being insensitive, but I chose to ignore. It seems to me that I should have listened to her. Rather than learning it through the hard way, paying such a high price for a lesson which I should have learnt when my mum told me so.

I think it is a little too scary when my friends have these little toddlers running around them, calling them Mommy. My God. I am nowhere near marriage and they already have a cute little one.

I think this thought is horrifying! I think I have to admit that I am getting more matured. I won’t use the word “Old” =)

I just entered into the working society and it is definitely a no-no to enter motherhood. wahhahaa..

I always wanted to get married at 24 years old, just like how my cousin had her wedding at 24. I think I know why dream is always dream and should remain as a dream. =)

somehow.. everything don’t seems to matter anymore. my brain tells me that it is suffering, my body is telling me that i am tired.

it’s a terrible week for me and i think it is a bad week for him too. Wanted to tell him about the terrible things i went thru at work and it seems that he is worried about his too.

Even before he started, I know that he will be upset if that day didn’t work out well. It’s just the way his job pays.

Now that I am in bad mood as well, I don’t know what I can do. I also don’t know how things will turn out between the two of us.

I am so tired at work and I really dun wan to handle any more shit.

I am so trying to breathe. It is soooo much that i feel like giving up.

Now i know why they say studying is so much more fun than working.